You are what you do

You are what you eat.

Yes.

But what about this?

You are what you do.

I’ve been thinking a lot about neurology lately, about the way our brains work – I’ve been reading a book, called the Happiness Advantage,. And it is making me think about my thinking.

I’ve always been one to think about my thinking, I’ve studied neurological plasticity before, written about it before, but this book is challenging me in a new way – good ways, to think about my thinking, because my thinking is my becoming.

I was searching for a way to describe this, this morning on my drive to work, and then at the T intersection of my road, and a highway (where I normally turn left) I instead took a right – and went to work the wrong way, the longer way. A different way.

Why.

Lots of reasons, but it gave me some needed clarity, some new things to see, and some added to time to think and reflect, so here are some thoughts.

Starting something new:   GRRRRRRRRRR

When was that last time that you started something new? Our family just recently started our two older kids on triathlon club. This turned our regular Wednesday nights upside down, and our regular Sunday mornings into a new mess. Usually we have a lazy Sunday morning and get our butts to church by 11:00, now I have to load bikes and trainers, and organize snacks, and water and crap into the van and drive to the meeting place by 10:00.

Totally different.

And a complete frustration.

Well, at least in the short term.

Something new always adds a level of frustration – always, at least that is my experience. But that isn’t necessarily a bad thing – it is a good thing, because what is actually happening neurologically is that you brain is changing to adapt to your new schedule/surrounding/experience. Have you heard the term “stuck in a rut” well, that is actually a PHYSICAL state of mind. Critical thinkers criticize, optimistic people are optimistic (optimize?) hard workers work hard, work out junkies work out, movie go-ers go to movies, healthy eaters eat healthy, gun owners own lots and lots of guns. Almost all, like 99% of our values, daily actions, mindsets ETC are rooted in our habits, good, bad, or indifferent. But here is the good news about the new SCIENCE of neurological plasticity, you can change, you only need one thing.

DESIRE

Oh, and one more thing about that change, it is going to be frustrating – so if to that DESIRE you add community – someone else- then you have a real shot of making the change stick, because often times, we abandon the new, to get back into the rut of the old.

So how am I doing at this? 

HORRIBLE THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!!

LOL

No seriously this sucks. It is hard, in the last 2 years I’ve dropped an addiction to Online Porn, I’ve worked hard to restore my marriage, I’ve changed churches, I’ve switched up my job situation (with new people to work with at Thomson Cabinets) I’ve begun a cultural shift of epic proportions at Heritage Family Services, I’ve tried to save Berachah Place from being shut down, I started working out 2-3 times a week with my friend Maynard, and swimming twice a week with my girls, diet changes, etc, and just last week, on Friday, I went through “inventory” on my 12 steps to recovery which put ALL of my past memorable relationships into a new perspective for me.

yeesh

Saturday morning I woke up, looked at my phone, put it back down again, on a bunch of pocket change which I hadn’t put away, the noise irritated me, and I was OFF.

OFF.

I spent the weekend OFF. DONE. FRIED. My poor wife annoyed me, my poor kids annoyed me, my poor dog annoyed me, my house annoyed me. Going to triathlon club annoyed me. If you saw me, I wasn’t smiling, I was grumpy. Because I was OFF

Ever watch a sporting event , when your team is OFF, and there is nothing that can be done to get them back on again?

Ya THAT.

So for those of you that wonder, about this Justin Hubert guy, who always tries to be positive, maybe you wonder if that is fake, or whatever. Well here is my take:

You have your normal way of interacting with your family right. Like in stressful situations. K, lets pick…. late for practice rushing supper to the table, and gotta leave in 15 minutes – that kind of situation – who are you in it? How do you talk? How do you deal with your kid spilling milk AGAIN? Now, just add ONE of your kid’s friends into that situation – just add OnePerson. And guess what, it changes the whole dynamic, now, you say things like “Oh its ok sweetie, I’ll clean it up. So what, are you being fake? No, I don’t think so I think you are being real in both situations, I think the latter situation with the friend is just the person you more want to be like.

This is more about outlook. I am seriously working on me, and its hard work. And, I have a positive outlook, practically where rubber meets road, it’s a bit more grindy. And I think we will all get there. The new science of the mind states that we can actually change PHYSIOLOGTICALLY the make up of our minds, but our desire has to outpace/outweigh the depth of our habit/rut. It is possible to rise above, to go beyond, to be positive in the face of adversity.  Make small incremental changes towards the person you want to be in the future.

This has been a bit of a negative read, thanks for making it this far, I’m posting it, because it is where My head is today. Thanks much and remember – you are what you do, so take what you do that is great – and do that MORE!!

slv2all