You don’t know what you’ve got until its gone.
This blog post is about relationships.
And guys I want you to read it.
I came so close to botching this up completely, sometimes, when it’s quiet, and its just me, it really freaks me out how close I got to giving up.
Don’t throw in the towel.
Ok, here it goes. (that was the guy pep talk)
I watched a video recently (apparently a viral one) in which a dad “responds” to his daughters “inappropriate” rant on Facebook by posting a video (to her wall) . In the video, he “lays down the law” and then gets up from his chair and literally puts 6 bullets into her laptop.
What do you think? Appropriate? Funny? Entertaining?
Or how about my favorite (ya, the response I hate)
(ooooh nothing gets me like apathy)
Its 2012, and in this day and age relationships are different, WAY different than they ever have been. We have instant communication, Facebook, twitter, text messaging. Dad’s used to say good bye in the morning, and that was it until supper. If Dad worked away, that was it, for weeks at a time. Now it is different, and part of that is good, and part of it, well, not so good.
So, you have relationships.
Friends, Spouse, Kids, Siblings, etc.
Life used to demand that we keep relationships in check. Because without them you starved to death, or died alone in the cold.
We used to need relationships to survive.
Now you need them to thrive.
More than likely, you can think of one relationship that pisses you off, gets you angry, and well just isn’t working – it doesn’t bring you joy, or fulfillment, or peace or happiness. And, you can also think of times when the relationships you consider good, they make you feel that way too.
Let me try and put this in perspective.
There are moments – pure ones that are full of everything you want in life! Fun moments, when you are out with your friends, and its just good solid times, things are clicking, and you are happy. I’ve had moments like that with my little kids like 3-year-olds, good times giggling away at nothing. Or even just good times, like having a camp fire and couple of beers. Or Heck, what about sex with my wife, when we both want to be with each other?
Good times.
We have all had them. How come we can’t make them last?
Not so long ago, I spent the majority of my life in agony over my relationships. Mad. Angry. As a matter of fact, I was so angry and frustrated that a cop (after asking me three times if I was ok) pulled his badge on me, and asked me one more time. “Sir, are you ok?” I can’t tell you how close I was to doing something really stupid.
What changed?
What makes the good times last? What makes anger short? Forgiveness quick? What makes Relationships that continually bring you Joy?
Simple. Understanding them, and working on them.
And this is what the dad in the viral video gets so wrong, his stupid senseless reaction isn’t building his relationship with his daughter. It’s killing it.
Killing it.
A 12 month old crying in her high chair because she didn’t get what she wants – what does the mother do? Takes the child out, and brings her close. Does it help to yell? No. Does it help to hit? No. It helps to draw close and soothe.
2nd situation Your best friend looses their 14 year old daughter to a car accident. What do you do? You go over, and you may not know what to say, but you stay in their presence. Does it matter if they are swearing and yelling? Or throwing things? No.
We have lost our intuition.
Lets get it back.
Deep abiding joy in relationship is possible.
slv2all
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